Lenovo/Digital River (UK) cancellation refund failure - please help!

I've posted this on Reddit, and am now posting here in the hope that I'll get some assistance.

26/10 Placed order for T480. Ship time is set at seven days.

27/10 Changed my mind, decided to buy an X1 Carbon instead, canceled order.

29/10 Lenovo shipped original order.

29/10 I called Lenovo/Digital River to ask how to deal with canceled order. Was told to refuse delivery.

01/11 Received email informing me that order couldn't be canceled, and I should refuse delivery.

02/11 Laptop arrived, and I refused delivery. UPS note in their tracking that "The receiver has canceled the product order and refused delivery.".

03/11 UPS "Warehouse scan".

06/11 UPS "A delivery change for this package is in progress. / The package will be returned to the sender.".

07/11 UPS "Warehouse scan".

08/11 UPS "Warehouse scan".

08/11 I email Lenovo/Digital river to explain that the package isn't moving. I receive no response.

09/11 UPS "Warehouse scan".

09/11 I call UPS. They say they're waiting on authorization from Lenovo/Digital River to send the package back.

09/11 I call Lenovo/Digital River. They insist the package is in transit, although UPS state otherwise.

12/11 UPS "Warehouse scan".

12/11 I call UPS to request that they reprocess the delivery refusal.

12/11 UPS "The package is being returned to the sender because the receiver refused delivery.".

14/11 UPS "Returned to shipper. Proof of delivery.". Package in Oostrum, NL.

14/11 I call Lenovo/Digital River. They insist the package is in transit, although UPS state otherwise.

Between the 14th and now I call Lenovo/Digital River a number of times. They tell me to wait.

27/11 I call Lenovo/Digital River. They say they will open a ticket to let the responsible team know the laptop is in the warehouse, attempt to process the refund, and I should receive a response within 24 hours. I have never received any confirmation that the laptop is in their warehouse.

28/11 Still no refund or communication.

29/11 I have contacted my bank in order to dispute the charge (£1708.25), but honestly this is ridiculous. Lenovo has had the laptop back in their warehouse for 14 days without sending me any further details. In the mean time I've recieved the X1 Carbon, which is an excellent laptop, but I can't imagine ordering direct from Lenovo/Digital River again.

Edit: 30/11 Still no word from Lenovo, and now the X1C has developed a couple of stuck pixels. I called to arrange a return yesterday (the 29th). The return was accepted and apparently I need to wait a couple of business days to receive details for the RMA.

Edit: 03/12 No email or update regarding the initial order, and no email confirmation for the RMA of the X1. I'm down £3715.44 now. Lenovo's UK customer support line has had a busy signal all day today, not that I'm expecting them to say anything other than "wait", since they appear to have no insight into whatever department handles returns and refunds.

Edit: 03/12 Finally got through to customer service. Re: cancelled order they've had in their warehouse for the past three weeks, was told "wait another 5-7 business days". Re: RMA for X1 with bad pixels, was told "wait another 5-7 business days to receive an email". I'm starting to think there's a pattern here...

Edit: 04/12 Still nothing. Tomorrow it'll have been three weeks since the T480 was signed for at their warehouse, with absolutely no written confirmation from Lenovo/Digital River, and no written confirmation for the RMA of the X1.

Note that /u/LenovoSupport contacted me, said they've notified the UK team, but added the following: "At this moment we're limited to what we can do here on our end. It would be best to coordinate with our regional team as they are the best that you can speak with.". So, don't expect to be able to escalate via the same methods with which buyers in America have had success. Clearly the "UK team" could care less.

Edit: 05/12 No update...

First order number: 8894565909

Second order number: 8899552409

PLEASE help me sort out the refund for the first order cancelation and also help me get an RMA email for the second.

Thank you!